She had told me so, and I could only blame myself for the tragedy.
I blame it on the wonderful smell of the wood smoke and tantalizing meat aroma we smelled when we were walking up to the lodge. Or maybe I was distracted by the smugness of the host previously mentioned, but when we got the menu I zoned in on Pulled Pork sandwich and the remaining text of the menu faded away as I read the description. Homer Simpson was jumping up and down in my mind saying; "MMMMmmmmm...pulled pork" licking his lips, first the top and then the bottom one. The waitress came and Terri ordered a nice salad and I said I would like the pulled pork sandwich please. The very nice waitress wrote down our order and off she went for some succulent meat. That's when Terri looked at me and with the knowledge of our 49 years together shining in her eyes said: You will be sorry.
Okay a little back history. I love meat! I especially love a nice slow cooked pig shoulder, or Boston Butt. It should be slowly brought to the proper temperature and cooked until it falls apart. You know, when you don't really need teeth to chew but can gum it to death. I am a little picky on food and pulled pork in particular. I will try anything once, but if I don't like it I'm not going to eat it. Some people like their barbecue to be slathered in sugary sauce and then compound this with coleslaw on their sandwich. "Good God Margaret", as a friend of mine used to say anytime something profoundly absurd occurred, I just want the meat! We had lived outside of Memphis for roughly 25 years through our life. Memphians are firmly divided into one of three camps; Wet, Muddy, or Dry. That's the way you get your BBQ. Wet is cooked slowly in a simmering sauce of sugars and syrups and various spices. Ladled onto your plate the sauce then spreads to infiltrate all other food sharing the space. Muddy is much like Wet, except it seems to be taken out of the sauce and brazed at the last minute to cook out some of the moisture leaving the meet covered in a gooey clinging coating. Dry is just that. The seasoning is a dry rub allowed to marinate into the meat over a day prior to the slow cooking. The flavors are then intrinsically married with the meat and you don't need 864 napkins to eat lunch. In Memphis you must declare your style of preference upon a bible with witnesses and most true BBQ places will only serve either Wet, or Dry. Muddy can be obtained at any place that serves Wet, but, can not be found in a restaurant that serves Dry. There is a world renowned BBQ place in Memphis called the Rendezvous. Now the first time I went there I was ready to turn around and run away. If we hadn't been with a couple of good friends that swore by the place I would have. Down a couple of back allies filled with dumpsters and with puddles covering most of the cement and trash floating in them, we were led to this door under a flickering light and down a flight of stairs into the establishment. The place was packed with an unruly mixture of people laughing and talking and squeezing to get past one another. This was before my knowledge of the 3 cornerstones of Memphis BBQ and the menu was a little lacking in clarity. Kind of reminded me of the menu in "My Cousin Vinney" It read: Pork Full, Half, Platter, Chicken - Full, Half, Quarter..... Pork Full meant a full slab of ribs, platter was a plate of pulled pork. All entries came with rolls, baked beans, cheese and pickle spears. Rendezvous is a Dry BBQ place and I'm drooling right now thinking about it. My Dad and Stepmom came to visit once and we brought them there to eat. After our food was delivered to our table and the beers resupplied, my dad tapped the waiter on the arm and asked him for something. We were in Percy's section and suddenly he straightened his posture, pulled his arm back with his eyes going wide and said "You can just leave my restaurant" before he gave an exasperated sigh and left our table. "What was that about?" I asked my Dad. He said he had asked for a different slab with sauce. We enjoyed our dinner and left safely, but throughout the meal you could look around and feel the glares, occasionally hearing the comment of; "He wanted WHAT???"
Over the years I have been to The Rendezvous many times and have brought friends from all over the world when they would visit Memphis to work on a project. I provided them some forewarning that it was Dry BBQ and saved them from being signaled out. If you have never been there and you get a chance, DO SO!
Anyways back to the story; so over the years Terri and I have tried BBQ all over the country and we are almost always disappointed. The latest was at the Rock N Roll hall of fame where they served pulled pork on a bun with red cabbage. At least I was able to scrape off the offending vegetable, but you know why they do this don't you? It is filler, so they can cheap out on the meat and pile half a head of cabbage or some mixture of dressing and sliced lettuce and carrots or whatever it is that coleslaw is made of. I want the meat, plus some baked beans, French Fries and a roll or 3 or 4. I try to scrutinize the menu to make certain that I'm getting meat and not a salad when ordering BBQ. Okay, okay I know many of you like coleslaw on your sandwich. For the life of me I don't know why, but that is your choice so enjoy and I will give you my side of coleslaw that many places insist you take.
Well we are at the lodge and I'm reviewing the menu and Homer is running around in my head saying "Porrrrkkkkkk.. give me give me give me" and the aroma of the cooking meat was leaching out of the kitchen to the outside patio, even to the tables without the umbrellas, one last glance at the menu to verify there was no mention of coleslaw and I broke. I would like the pulled pork platter please. And Terri just started laughing... The food came quickly and my sandwich was encased in a beautifully fresh baked roll. Quickly I lifted the top for signs of deception but it looked safe. A little pale, no sauce or rub that I could see, and I took a big bite. Gawk, spit, retch, get this out of your mouth my brain cried and Homer said "Dopppe what happened to the yummy pork....? They had placed some type of something, I don't know what, spring garden mix maybe, under the meat the evil cretins. Even worse the BBQ sauce was a pickled juicy mess leaking from everywhere melting the bottom bun off of the sandwich. "Yep, she was right" I thought - I shouldn't have ordered it.
After that the drive up the mountain was a little anticlimactic. Really it was awesome. It is basically a service road for the ski lift and you weave in and out of the uprights as you try to make the hairpin turns up the mountain. The road is paved for a 1/4 mile and then turns into a gravel based dirt road, better for traction. It is a steep climb, windy and narrow and blind corners at all of the switchbacks. To the right is open air and sure death, to the left is a wall of shrubs and brush masking the road section and cars that are trying to slow down so they don't shoot off and land in someone's villa 1,000 ft below. A number of the curves had warning signs stating to try and stay on the high side of the hair pin turn if traffic allows because the down hill side is washing out. Well since I couldn't tell if there was a car coming I stayed on the down hill side on the first notice and felt the right rear wheel slipping away in the loose gooiness. After that we stayed on the high side and hoped our luck held. The speed limit was slow so that was good, except for the one car that almost hit us coming down hill around a blind corner. The stench of the cars brakes burning away stayed with us for the next 1/2 mile up the mountain. We did not go all the way to the summit, and turned around just beneath the cloud cover where we got some awesome photos. No, I don't know if that car made it or not, but the drivers eyes were certainly wide open as he swerved around us. I did get to play with a feature on my truck that I have never used before called Hill Descent. You can only use it at a speed of 3 to 15 mph. Basically you turn it on, either accelerate or brake to get the speed you want and take your feet away from the pedals. The computer takes over and between the transmission and ABS system it is supposed to maintain your descent at the speed you indicated. It did a pretty good job of it and I did not have to burn out my brakes on the way back down.
Possible landing spot
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